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Parents are taking baby steps towards gender-neutral parenting; here’s how

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The author: Prerna Mittra
| New Delhi

Published : 17. May 2020 12:00:56

Non-sexual education, what is non-sexual education, gender bias, children, children, parents, education, Indian Express, Indian Express News Can a boy be pink? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can a girl be interested in cars and action figures instead of Barbie dolls? Of course you did. And this has something to do with their sex at birth? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (Source: Getty/Thinkstock)

Uma (change of name), a native of Gurughram, was at a birthday party last November when she experienced something that made her angry. After the party, when the children were about to leave, the owner asked them to gather around the table and started giving gifts back. My daughter was excited because she saw binders with her favorite superheroes. When it was his turn, we gave him a bag with Princess Barbie’s seal in it. She was disappointed. When I asked the birthday boy’s parents – who happens to be a friend of the family – they said the superhero bags were for boys and the Barbie bags for girls, the 32-year-old housewife said. I didn’t want to make a scene and look like a preacher, so I asked my four-year-old to watch him. But if I were the boss, I’d let the children decide what gifts to bring home, regardless of gender, she adds.

As a society we always talk about raising children well and participating in new and healthy parenthood. It’s about accepting change and ending archaic practices. But in many families throughout the country – and even the world – a child is still associated with the gender assigned at birth rather than with an individual. From flowers to toys to movies, these parents decide in advance what their children like and dislike because of their gender.

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What Um calls a blatant example of respect for gender equality, which is inherently difficult. To combat this idea, many parents turn to gender-neutral education, which is fundamentally the opposite. He gives him a break, lets him get away from the binary system. In practice, this form of education makes the child responsible for his or her own interests and the child, regardless of gender, is free to explore his or her own likes and dislikes without any influence or interference from society.

When SpaceX and Tesla CEO Alon Mask and his partner Grimes recently announced the birth of their son and the name they chose for him to the world, it led to a lot of controversy and discussion, and even to a few jokes about his willfulness.

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But if you think about it, the name itself is so unconventional that it does not prescribe a specific gender. Besides, he’s bowing to artificial intelligence! Earlier this year actor Kalki Koehlin gave birth to a daughter she called Sappho. She said earlier that she would give her child a gender-neutral name. I chose a name that is suitable for both sexes and is gay because I want my child to have that freedom of movement under the many umbrellas on the floor that we have, she says.

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Give my regards to Sappho. Born 20/02/07. She just wrapped in my stomach like a mom for nine months. Let’s give it to space️. Thank you for all your good wishes and positive energy. And respect for all women who have an intense and terrible experience of childbirth, be it Caesarean section or vaginal birth, many of whom receive no thanks or support to solve the biggest problems they face, but who have to do so out of duty. This process is extremely stressful, both mentally and physically, and needs to be supported by the whole community in order to truly heal. And a reminder to every human of the place where we began to form from small molecules to conscious and beautiful creatures. We are the survivors of the greatest struggle for life and existence, and we must meet each other and meet others with this love and respect. Some people say that an army of horsemen or infantry, a fleet of ships is the most beautiful on black earth, but I say they like it. ~Sappho~ to 600 BC Chr.

8. Contribution shared by Kalki (@kalkikanmani) 9. Contribution of Kalki (@kalkikanmani) February 2020 at 5:23 PT.

And Kalky’s not alone. Many celebrities like her are expected to raise their children, regardless of gender. Singer Pink and actress Kate Hudson are among the parents who would use Onibi (as opposed to Baby) to raise their children. So, can a guy be pink? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can a girl be interested in cars and action figures instead of Barbie dolls? Of course you did. And this has something to do with their sex at birth? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Dipika K, who works for a Bengali e-commerce company, is the mother of a three-year-old child. Born into a traditional Tamil-Brahman family, she says that she and her sister grew up with a progressive view of the world and not in the traditional sense. My husband and I were married six years before our daughter was born. We have always shared the responsibility, but with the arrival of the child a lot has changed. We have become much more aware of our behavior and our shared responsibilities, she says, adding that it is about showing the child that both parents have the same rights and the same respect in the house.

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When my daughter was nine months old, I had to go to the United States, and it was difficult because I was breastfeeding. My husband took the time to come with me and take care of the baby while I was working. That’s the story we tell him about how we did it. In terms of parenting, I started using this hashtag called #agenerationwithoutgenderbias in 2018 when I first used Instagram. I’ve noticed that some things are glorified. For example, I heard my parents talking: My daughter doesn’t play with dolls, she plays with puzzles. Even if you’re not prejudiced, you may have just said that Lego is better than dolls, which is not necessarily true. Once you say something’s superior, everyone wants it. The idea of not telling kids to play with cooking utensils sucks. As parents, I want my daughter to take anything that interests her. I don’t want to impose, she says.

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Haven’t we all been there? The main problem and reason for bias is the purpose or belief that certain tasks or activities are superior to others. This cooking and fake game sucks. And these Lego bricks are intellectually stimulating. None of these skills are sufficient. Aren’t we dealing with bosses who are intelligent but have no social skills? Or people who can keep the team together but can’t fool the structure? . For the holistic development of the child it is important to provide toys, imagination toys, problem solving toys and much more. Of course, the child will have a preference, and that preference will change over the years… It’s hard enough as it is to keep our children away from certain types of toys. Worse, it would mean that parental consent and recognition would be linked to the use of certain types of toys. Next time you’re invited to a birthday party, don’t buy sex toys. Buy a kitchen set for 2 years, a gel mag tile for 3 years and a doll set for 4 years, because you’ll make the world a better place by choosing just $500! . Join me and 100 other great people to speak with our voices against the invisible and visible barriers that limit young people! Follow the #generation without genre and see how writing comes to life through 400 character stories! . P.S. If you want to participate, DM is only one of the participants and we look forward to your participation!

Article shared by Deepika K (@mommyingtales) 22. January 2019 at 9:52 p.m. Pacific time.

According to Deepika, it is normal to assign a gender to a person – unless he or she decides otherwise – but the expectation of that gender is rigid. If I assign you a gender, call you girlfriend and tell you that I expect you to be female, wear clothes and play with certain toys, it becomes restrictive. As long as you have no boundaries, I see no problem with the floor. As parents, we strive to provide her with information and to ensure that she can take with her everything that is meaningful to her.

The problem is not that girls like the color pink, but that girls are only exposed to that color, she said.

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Amita Malhotra is the founder of EqualiTee, a brand that challenges gender stereotypes in early childhood. In her youth she was tired of toys, clothes, books and everything else for children who were separated from their sex. If I wanted a T-shirt with a soccer ball for my daughter, I would have to get it from the boys’ department, because the girls’ T-shirt is full of dolls, flowers, unicorns and butterflies. I have understood how gender marketing helps brands sell more, but limits the hopes, dreams and ambitions of our children. In 2018 I launched EqualiTee to raise awareness of gender stereotypes in early childhood and offer an alternative, she says on indianexpress.com.

For example, EqualiTee contains clothes that show children from 2 to 8 years old a great world of imagination, creativity and free expression.  I was at university when I learned to think about gender and how it affects identity. When I became a mother, I thought deeply about what it means to raise our children as individuals, to explore who they are and how they want to free themselves from rigid gender roles. There is a lot of talk today about gender diversity and equal pay, but instead of inspiring our girls to become leaders, athletes and scientists, we ask them to focus on their looks.

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Gender is often misunderstood as the gender of all women, and we forget that boys are also victims of a culture that idealizes aggression, violence and emotional denial. I felt it was regressive and I felt the need not only to question it in my personal life, but also to broaden its scope to include more parents, says Malhotra, who prefers the term gender-based parenting or even just parenthood.

For them, it simply means that they offer children ideas and experiences based on their interests rather than on their gender. It’s about staying in line with our own unconscious prejudices, because children learn most when they look at us. To educate children on the basis of gender equality, we must set an example for parents to behave equally at home and broaden their view of the world by introducing them to books, television programmes and films that challenge traditional notions of gender equality, she concludes.

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